Friday, September 4, 2009

"Surely you can't be serious!?"

Okay, so I have been more than open about how stressful my little world seems to be these days. I've also mentioned ( several times ) that I'm going on vacation in less than 2 weeks now and hopefully I can forget some of life's pressures for a little bit. However, this brings me to the point of this post. Phobias.......

We all have them, I totally get this. I have several and some are pretty strange ( like small floating dead fish..... ) or vertical blinds, 80's style and skinny jeans. (I'm sorry but they all hurt my eyes). Of course there is my massive fear over yellow mustard which came about after eating a whole jar of it when I was 3 ( I'm sure you can imagine what came next ) Which would lead me to my second biggest fear in the world ( emetophobia )....vomiting ( sorry, I know this is a food blog ) but let me tell you this, I have not experienced this act in over 30 years now and yes, I have more than beat Jerry Seinfeld's 17 yr run.

Anyway, my number one fear is this.......FLYING

YES, as in AIRPLANES and YES... I live on the most remote island chain in the world...... Don't even ask because there are many more things about me that make absolutely no sense either.

I'm not really sure how this fear came about? I use to fly A LOT between my mother's Bay Area home and my dad's LA beach house at a very young age ( anyone remember PSA?? I do..... crashing into San Luis Obispo of course).

Anyway, my mother was a flight attendant for 12 years ( Western Airlines, now Delta ) and actually met my father on an airplane while my dad was touring with his famous band back in the 70s. On top of this, my father is actually a private pilot because he loves flying THAT much! In fact he's so crazy about it he even did aerobatic flying for awhile before my stepmother thankfully put a stop to this craziness! You can now find my dad on a dusty runway in the middle of the Sonoran Desert with his remote control glider (whew....)

Anyway, If you look at a map you will see that Australia is still about 5,000 miles away from Maui. Although I have thought of alternative methods of crossing the equator ( and Pacific Ocean ) I can't take 3 months off ( for the long paddle ) so I have to depend on Hawaiian Airlines to get me there once again ( my deepest apologizes to all the Hawaiian Air Flight crews I have tortured over the last 15 yrs but I have very few alternatives these days. You can thank Aloha Air for that....... )

Here is the another ironic part about me......I fly ALL the time! And I don't just fly, I frigging cross hemispheres! So, not only do I live on Maui which almost always requires a terrifying "puddle jump" to HNL to get anywhere but, my shortest flight is still 5 hrs ( SFO=MOM). Then, there is PHX ( 7.5 hrs ) to see Dad, sister is in SYD ( 10.5 hrs away ) Carlos' parents are in JAX (12 hrs, yes Australia is closer to Hawaii than Florida ) and of course, the rest of the fam is down in EZE which stands for Buenos Aires International Aiport, 6 layovers and 33 hrs away from OGG ( my home port )

So what does someone who suffers dearly from Aviatophobia who insists on living on an island do? Well, for years I simply relied on alcohol ( I am NOT recommending this at all ). However, trying to stay drunk for 5 plus hours when you are about 100 pounds can lead to my second greatest fear.......So, of course there are things like Beta Blockers, Zanax, Sleeping pills etc. However, they do absolutely nothing to me. In fact, I clearly remember a red eye ( post a strong zanny ) flight from PPT to HNL when I was SERIOUSLY the ONLY one awake on the plane! So, this leaves me with just having to deal with it like a grown up. However, a grown up is HARDLY how I behave on a 737.

On a flight last year Carlos and I missed a connecting flight in ALT from MIA so we got separated ( seat wise ) on the very full LAX bound jet. I was in an absolute PANIC over this. So, I quickly turned to the guy sitting next to me ( I'm crying I must add ) and begged him to switch his seat with Carlos. DUDE!! The guy said NO! So then I grabbed his arm and promised to make the next 6 hours of his life an absolute living hell! You want to know what happened next? The guy sitting on the other side of me jumped up and said, "I'LL SWITCH WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND!" Yes, thank you! Chivalry is still alive and well in the state of Georgia.

So this is where my brave man comes into play.......Carlos is an absolute lifesaver for me on airplanes. He's EXTREMELY patient and actually seems genuinely concerned for my sanity. I can't even tell you how many shirts of his I have destroyed with my makeup, the comfortable aisle seats ( he's 6'2" ) he has sacrificed because I needed him next to me, or the hours he has spent with me gripping his arms, chest or hair as we cross oceans.

Between Sept 17 th and Oct 12 I will have to endure 6 take offs ( the hardest part for me ) before we are back home on Maui. This is all by choice of course. I refuse to be a total "John Madden" about it and miss out on the world because I'm too scared to get on an airplane. After Sept 11, 2001 I didn't leave Maui for 4 yrs which is just crazy. I finally decided that I wanted to go see the Cook Islands and my surf board was not going to get me there so down the OGG concourse I went.

Carlos has flown with me over 20 times in the last 3 yrs and I'm sure there is going to be hundreds of more trans oceanic flights in our future because that's just how we roll...... I just now make sure that Carlos has a couple of drinks to help him with his fear of flying........ with me.......xo xo

Oh PS-The title of this post is from a famous movie....10 pts ( or a lock of Taj's fur ) if you can name the movie and say the next line! LOL!

WORKOUT-1 Hr hatha yoga


BREAKFAST- OMG! I had an Espresso??? Who am I? This is what happens to me sans green smoothies!

LUNCH-"Amy's Organic" Bean and Cheese Burrito ( with left over salsa from yesterday's lunch )Looks pretty "blah" compared to the stuff I make at home! LOL!!! I'm so over this......

DINNER-Mala Ocean Tavern Lahaina with friends!-Goat Cheese and Beet Salad, lavash, marinated olives and 2 glasses of "Fiddlehead" Sauv Blanc from Cali (anyone see "Sideways"?) Oh, and a few bites of some flourless chocolate torte that didn't suck......

1 comment:

  1. Trust me, I HATE flying too!! I have to blast my music when taking off so I don't hear the jets and I close my eyes and pray - it's awful. I've gotten into the VERY BAD habit (don't recommend this) of taking something to help me sleep. ACK! So bad, I know, you sleep all through take off til landing and I have to say, it puts my nerves to rest. Good luck!!