Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Reflecting on my choices (a bit long and personal)




One of my favorite set of lines ever came from the 1989 movie "When Harry Met Sally".


"SALLY: And I'm gonna be 40! HARRY: When? SALLY: Someday! HARRY: In eight years....."
In the scene Meg Ryan ( Sally ) had just learned that her ex-boyfriend was getting married and her best male friend, Billy Crystal ( Harry) was over at her apartment to comfort her. I remember watching the movie when I was a young teenager and thinking that the characters seemed so "adult"and that I felt bad for Sally since she WAS a 32 year old women without a husband or children. So in turn, I totally GOT why she would be upset about the news. On the other hand, Harry is making a joke about how young 32 actually is ( and I totally didn't get THAT at the age of 13! )
The point of my story is this. I'm 32 (about to turn 33 tomorrow..........)
I always thought that by the age of 32 I'd be very grown up. My definition of a"grown up" as a teenager was this....established career, married, homeowner and probably a mother.
Oh....the cruelty of youth!
Now, by the time I had turned 30 I WAS the owner of a large home with a view of the ocean. I WAS a married women ( since the age of 26 actually ). I also had a firm position in the art business as an Assistant Director of a successful gallery and I had everything in place ( including extra bedrooms ) if I wanted to start a family.
Then I took a sharp turn left.
I remember looking around my new home: crown moulding, stainless steel appliances, granite counter tops. I remember looking out into the yard: new Hawaiian rock fence, baby palm trees and a custom concrete patio and thinking to myself, "So this is it?" ( BTW did anyone read "Eat, Pray, Love" ?)
What I really wanted to buy was a cute green and white traditional Hawaiian plantation home with mature trees. Not a cookie cutter new house that you'd find in say, Orange County, CA? My husband would have had no part of that idea.
The truth was this.....I was in a miserable marriage, I forgot what my hobbies were, I never spent time with friends....All I did was work, fight and cry.
I remember it was October of 2006 and during that month I had two signs handed to me 1. Maui County endured a large earthquake that shook everything off the walls of my new home cracking the Spanish tiles though out. I remember my husband screaming about how much he disliked being on this island and that I needed to "get real" and give in to moving back to the mainland. ( hmmmm, I seem to recall having pretty large earthquakes back home in California) and 2. A week after the earthquake, Maui County got hit by a major Kona storm and our yard flooded badly and seeped into our new living room and my husband cursed my island once again and my "dream". It was during this time that I was about to go a vacation alone for the first time ever without my husband. I was going to Australia to visit my sister and my husband had no interest in going down there see that country. ( How crazy is THAT?! ) That vacation solo could not have come at a better time. I left for Sydney on November 7th, 2006 and that date will always have significant meaning to me now and forever. I decided right there on that Qantas jet that I was going to leave my marriage and my life as I knew it.
Fast forward two and a half years.....Well, it's been a ride. My divorce was finalized in March of 07 and I moved in with my old college roommate. Over the last few years I met someone else (the sexy guy I have frequently mention in this blog) and we finally moved in together back in October 08. We surf, travel, hike, dream, cook and take advantage of this beautiful island. I've discovered new hobbies and resurrected old ones ( gardening, Green Living, researching natural beauty, living cuisine, decorating etc ) and I'm also making a huge effort to reconnect with my friends and family ( Mahalo Facebook! )
Anyways, so I've spent most of today ( April Fools Day....always glad I entered the world on the 2nd ) really reflecting on my life's choices. I think that someday I might want all those "grown up" things again but this time around it's going to be MY WAY ( or OUR way ) and I'm in no huge rush......I mean, really.....I'm not even going to be 40 for another 7 years! LOL xoxoxo, Amanda

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